Dear Retail Customer,

To answer your questions:

Yes, I'm hanging Christmas ornaments already.

Yes, I'm aware that it's July.

Yes, it probably would be easier to leave Christmas stuff up all year long. But we don't. And you would probably complain then too.

No, we did not enter a time warp, and you did not lose several months of your year.

No, hanging ornaments does not fool me into thinking its cold outside.

No, I am not an elf.

No, I am not hiding any reindeer in the stock room.

Yes, it is a little ridiculous, but you need to get over it.

It's July, and I've been helping put Christmas ornaments/decorations/crafts out in the store.  It amazes me every day how angry this makes people.  Like I said, I'm not an elf, so how do you expect us to turn half the store into a winter wonderland overnight? Because I'm sure if we waited another month to start, A) you would probably still complain, and B) we wouldn't be able to put it out fast enough for your crazy Christmas expectations.  Besides, you do know we live in Arizona right? It's going to be hot regardless of when we put them out.  And seriously, do you all think you are just exceptionally witty?! Just for your information, I heard every Cmas related comment you all have on the first day, and you just keep repeating them. GET A NEW JOKE. And don't stare at me waiting to see me crack up laughing either. This polite smile is all you're getting from me until January.

And no, they're not on sale.

Your not-so-friendly-cashier,

Blitzen.

P.S. To the angry lady yesterday who got mad at me for having an ornament in my hand - get over yourself.  And don't get mad at me for putting your items in a bag. We're a store. We do that. You're right, I should have known that you hate plastic and all that is polluting the world. Oh and by the way? I gave you the sweaty-looking five dollar bill on purpose.  It gave me sick satisfaction watching you complain about it. Have a nice day, and Merry Christmas!